7 Reasons for Fear of DivorceUnhappy relationships cause us a lot of stress and anxiety. It can even cause clinical depression. However, many people are afraid of separation and continue to maintain their relationship, even when their best moments have passed. In fact, there are many reasons why people stay in strained relationships. Today we decided to find out why some couples are afraid to break up, even when their love has long since evaporated.Low self-esteem One of the main reasons why people continue to stay together is not self-love, which means zero self-esteem. Psychologists say that people who are unaware of their good qualities subconsciously expect others to behave badly towards them. Such people really don't believe that they deserve to be loved. Psychologists give some recommendations for those with low self-esteem: Invest in yourself and develop. Start a new hobby, sign up for a course, or go on vacation. To love someone, you must also love yourself and be who you are. Praise yourself Don't say things like "I'm a big loser" or "I can't do anything." Stop blaming yourself. Open your eyes to your own advantages. Believe in yourself, and you will be surprised how good people will start appearing around you. Age There are still stereotypes in society that life ends after the age of 40, and then it is impossible to find true love. The fear of loneliness is also one of the main reasons. However, sociologists say that people can arrange their personal lives at any age. Almost half of women over the age of 45 who have gone through a divorce say they feel happier than when they were in a "painful" relationship. Charlotte Friedman, a well-known psychotherapist, argues that divorce in adulthood has its advantages: The children are probably already adults. Now it's time to do whatever you want - travel, pursue your hobbies, and devote time to yourself. Now you can find someone who will make you truly happy. Or you can stay alone - it's your life, and it's up to you what you do. Societal pressure Sometimes an unhappy marriage can last for years due to outside pressure. For example, the social stigma of divorce or the disapproval of elderly relatives who encourage young people to stay together. Some people are very worried about what their relatives, neighbors, and colleagues will say about them, so they're willing to stay in a terrible relationship for years to come. The decision to divorce is made by only two people. Not perfect, but mine is "At least I'm not alone" is the motto of people who don't dare end their unhappy relationships. The reason is that they cannot see other options or prefer not to take risks. Some recent studies show that a woman is more likely to file for divorce if she has a wide range of potential partners and is financially independent. People who are afraid to take risks are hopeless and believe that an acquaintance, although a bad partner, is better than a potentially ideal one that may never appear. In many such couples, they behave like acquaintances, not as lovers, they just live under the same roof. There is no passion or love in their relationship. The solution to this problem is to work hard on yourself and, of course, increase self-esteem. Children Children are one of the main reasons why two people don't want to get divorced. And this, of course, is understandable - we all know how negatively divorce affects children, who may feel guilty about what happened. Psychologists, however, argue that parents should look at things from a different angle. Children whose parents are unhappy in their marriage, but refuse to divorce, experience daily mental stress. Parents who constantly swear ruin a child's life - they force him to blame himself for what is happening and constantly worry that his parents are not happy. Moreover, they show him that marriage is actually a rather unhappy union that only causes pain. One day, when the child grows up, he or she will have only one very bad example. That's why it's better to get divorced in a civilized way, rather than shouting every day. After breaking up, it is important to treat each other with respect. The belief that happy marriages do not exist Many people think that happy relationships don't exist at all, so they put up with their unhappy marriage. Psychologists believe that this belief arose in childhood - perhaps your parents did not give you a good example (what we mentioned in the previous paragraph), or you were disappointed in your first love. Very often, spouses get used to living by misunderstanding and are not going to get divorced even after realizing that the marriage was a mistake. It turns out that habit is just as important to a relationship as passion and intimacy. Therefore, unhappy marriages can last a very long time. Hope for a better future Most couples stay together not because they are happy at the moment, but simply because they hope to be happy someday (again). Psychologist Levi Baker has researched this phenomenon. It turns out that the hope for a better future is a common bond that keeps spouses together, even if they have an unhappy marriage. As they say, hope dies last. Psychotherapist Jake Eagle cites another reason for this phenomenon -"Hollywood brainwashing." Jake says that romantic films, where the characters always stay together despite all the tension, make ordinary people believe that this can happen in their lives. But this is not the case at all! In fact, people don't just change, and a happy ending is optional. Psychologists say that people in this situation have a way out: Don't wait for your partner to change, but instead change their attitude. However, if we are talking about serious problems and things that you will never be able to forgive, do not wait, do not waste your time. Жители Кирова могут скачать melbet и настроить фильтры так, чтобы в ленте оставались только интересующие виды спорта. Служба помощи на связи по +7 (800) 707-33-12. |